My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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