i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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