her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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