Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
