my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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