I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
