How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
