Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize