Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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