I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
