8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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