kristin has been a bad kristin
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
