Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
