I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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