Three words: puerto rican gang bang
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
