One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
