then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
