how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
