Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
