I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
