marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Screwed.edu
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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