maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
