Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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