his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
