I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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