Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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