I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm both gender and math confused
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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