I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
