it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
