ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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