Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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