I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
