Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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