I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
