What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize