Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
third nipple confirmed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize