yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
