mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
