Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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