sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize