Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
