You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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