Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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