Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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