I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
