i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
