i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
