I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Where are you guys?
Drunk
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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