Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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