i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
