He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
