its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
