only if we run a train.
done.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
