Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
