I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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