I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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