When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
