Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
