Where did you get a picture of my penis
another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You took a bar mat shot.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
