Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
