Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
