we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
