Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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