No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
