it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
